How to Learn to Speak Another Language

Not "oastmasters"

Practicing my Italian with an audience

What’s the best way to learn another language? The answer must be move to a country that speaks it. (Otherwise this trip was a very bad idea.) Then you just soak up the sounds through osmosis while sipping Mai Tais or Mojitos or Belline. (I’m claiming that as the plural of Bellini.)

IMG_3413

Not a bellini, but still delicious…

Except our brains are lazy. They are very good at resisting any new skills that aren’t absolutely necessary. And it’s certainly possible to get by in most foreign countries using English and hand gestures.

So if I’m going to become fluent in three months I’m going to need a plan and discipline. (Though I really wish I could learn by drinking those Belline. I hate discipline.)  But it’s not going to be classes or Rosetta Stone software or even a top-secret computer program to beam the language directly into my brain, code-named The Intersect. (Very tempting, though. Especially if I get to work with Sarah Walker.)

No, I’m going to hack my way into the language. And if you want to play along at home, you can do this too.

Summary

  1. Find someone to speak with
  2. Prepare a conversation before it happens
  3. Refer to the Lonely Planet phrasebook
  4. Consult Google Translate
  5. Get over your pride

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Italian Language Eccentricities

No actual meat

Mmm…Chocolate Salami

 

What fascinates me about languages is the complete differentness of them all. As the great linguist Steve Martin once said about the French, “They have a different word for everything!” I have a collector personality, so I want one of each of them. (“Get your first foreign language today, collect all 7,000!”). 1

Highlights (for those who don’t feel like reading the whole thing):

  • Italian doesn’t use the letter s to make things plural.
  • The s is used at the front of a word to mean the opposite.
  • There are 7 ways to say “the.” Seven!
  • Google is working on a brain USB port

It’s not a secret that I’m fluent in French, pretty good in Spanish, and have dabbled in Portuguese, Italian, German, Greek, Turkish, Bengali, and Fon. (Yeah, that last one is a real language, spoken by about 2 million people in Africa and 25 returned peace corps volunteers when they’ve had too much to drink and start to reminisce about showing up at an African market and freaking out the locals with their authentic accents.) 2

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